Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow...
I am not afraid to show you what's in my eyes
Finals Updates
As you may or may not have guessed, I am studying for finals and I am procrastinating now. Therefore I'm onto my blog. I know I have been the laziest blogger there is but gimme a break, I don't have as much time as I did in high school. It is true that the older you become the less time you have. Well, most of my times go to sleeping and mindlessly surfing the internet anyway.

You guys, I can't believe that next year would be my last year in college. After that, my dad (if he really is true to his words) is going to cut me off and I'm gonna be poor unless I can find a job. What I can do is really questionable. Life is boring, you guys. Most of my friends have skills, I don't. Well, I might as well find a decent guy with disposable income to marry so I don't have to work the rest of my life and just enjoy the elite taitai lifestyle #MRSdegree.

Like seriously, I go to one of the most expensive schools in the world and undoubtedly the most expensive school in the nation (read: The George Washington University aka GWU). The recent article  in Washington Post claimed GW as the "Great Gatsby" of the higher education and THERE IS NOT ONE DECENT GUY HERE. And by decent I mean southern manners, west coast attitude, east coast trust fund, and looks like he's out of PRADA catalogue or something. Most of the people here are gay (which I can't date, duh) or Jewish. Now, I have no problem with Jewish people but their Jewish mothers want them to marry other Jewish girls so my yellow ass, flat nose, and chinky eyes are pretty much out of the picture.

I just spent 5 minutes searching for a decent picture of GW (above) and now my writing soul has gone. Ugh. That always happens.

Right now I am sitting in the small conference room on the 5th floor of Marvin Center. Not a lot of people know of this place, thank God. Gelman (our library) stinks like old nursing home. It is a very bad learning environment there, no kidding, with GW biddies giggling and whispering with their friends. Yeah, I need a complete silence when it comes to studying but I never want to study alone because that makes me feel so lonely :(

mandatory selfie

Honestly, I don't think this post makes sense at all. I'm too dysfunctional. This is my 3rd all-nighter in a row. If I don't get good grades this semester, I might as well try to seduce some prince of Africa/Arab and trick him into marrying me. This is DC after all.

Until next time I procrastinate


P.S. It's only 1.41 am?!?!?!?!

You're raped? Yeah, right.
It's meeee!

I'm gonna get a lot of negative feedback from this post but whatever. This is my blog. If you don't like what you're reading then don't come back.

So my news feed on facebook has been flooding about rape this, rape that. Like seriously, the topic is so depressing. And I just want to voice this out and get the little nagging voice in my head to shut up.

First thing first, I do condemn the act of rape. Like seriously, forcing yourself onto someone innocent especially if she's a virgin? I can't imagine if that happens to me. Like, OMG, I'd probably be depressed or kill myself.


Today the context of rape has been over the board. Like, I haven't heard as much rape cases as I have today. Perhaps it's because I'm growing up, perhaps it's because the world got crazier, or perhaps it's because I'm in a more liberal environment. Regardless of what the real reason is, why is that almost everyone I know knows at least one person that have been "raped"? Is it really that bad out there? I know one girl who said that she was raped but lol, I don't believe her. She's just an attention whore imho.

Okay, I may sound a bit heartless there but bear with me.

I would sympathize a raped victim if she, from the beginning, says no to the rapist. Like, if she kept saying no and not leading him on by her actions (i.e. making out, grinding, or even flirting). Many people say the way someone dresses may lead to rape but I think that's bullshit. If the victim firmly said no from the beginning, then that is a case of rape.

However, if the victim toy on with the "rapist" by making out with him, flirting with him, with her hand hovering to the places where it's not supposed to be, even going home with the guy, I don't think it's rape. Like seriously. Okay, you might wanna feel frisky and like make out with the guy in public places and if that makes the guy think it's ok to rape you then I would sympathize you. But if you have decided to go home with him, then make out on his bed?!? Like seriously? Yeah you're totally raped.

Sadly, I think my generation is so fucked up in the head that they don't wanna admit what they do wrong. They justify themselves by trying to block the memory and projecting the blame to someone else (Gen. Psych here!), which is very very cruel. There is a saying in Indonesian language that slander is more cruel than murder. Do you know what's gonna happen to someone who is claimed to be a rapist? At least in the US, he will be a registered sex offender his whole life. In Singapore, the punishment is death. And that's just because one little slut is justifying her little slutty action... So when you feel better that the whole world sympathizes you, it's ok to take his life?

So, girls, next time you go out, if you don't plan on putting out, do the society a favor, don't go home with a guy and make out on his bed. He would think it's an invitation. Like, seriously! And don't fucking blame the alcohol. If you can't handle it then don't drink it. Fucking duh.


Snow? Yeah, No.
I have no idea why I loved snow last year

Hi everyone! Happy belated Christmas and New Year! I'm still alive but has just been lazy as fuck. Like, seriously. This winter weather makes me don't want to function at all. BUT, I have just had an epiphany today that since I spend so much time on my laptop admiring my beautiful self in the pictures I take over the weekend that are professionally mupload to my Facebook via Dropbox and also professionally organized with witty eye-catching album names as well as captions, I may as well do more useful things with my laptops; like writing a blog post (hence practicing my writing skill) or actually take notes in class. After all, my parents got me two laptops not for me to admire myself but for academic purposes. Heehee.

So it is winter here in D.C., but I haven't stopped being a hot mess and planning to be one today until something horrible happened last night, it fucking snowed. It's like the mother nature is so opposed to me having too much fun and wants me to embrace my Asian-ness by staying in and be on the internet/editing pictures or hit up the library and actually for the first time in 2013 study. Yeah, no. I'm still rocking my Tarzan dress with Uggs.

This is why I hate snow. Fuck all of you who say that the snow is romantic, or an excuse that classes will be cancelled, all kinds of bullshit. I hate snow. Hate hate hate hate it. Well, I think it's mainly because I'm traumatized. Last year's blizzard in the Pacific Northwest left me with no electricity, nothing to do, cold, and pathetic. It was not a good memory.

That aside, here are the reasons why you should hate snow too

1. Cold As Fuck
It got so cold today that the wind gave me headache, my fingers hurt, my bones are aching, and I can't open my eyes. Also, basic science: snow is frozen rain. Rain is water. Your blood is sort of water. Inside your flesh is blood. So there is a possibility that your blood will be frozen.

2. Slippery Slope
No it's not the idiom. But it's literally slippery. Everytime I walk on the snow my head would always tell me that I'm gonna fall. This morning I did and it was not pretty. My knee is still hurting now, nevermind the embarrassment; pantless Asian girl fell in the metro while peacoated and trenchcoated assholes just walk pass by me.

3. Ice Melters
Whoever invented them invented the worst thing can happen to your boots. Not only it can stuck in your boots and make them rollerboots, its so annoying when stepping. And it looks gross.

4. Under Armors
I don't know about you, but I need the thermal wear in snow if not I swear my blood will freeze (refer to point number 1). It's too warm for indoor, and it's impossible to just strip in classes. Also, they are so badly cut that I can't wear anything pretty, forcing me to wear grandma outfits.

5. Winter Jackets
As if Under Armors aren't bad enough, Winter Jackets makes you look 20 lbs heavier. Okay, this applies to no snow cold days but you crucially need them in snow because if you fall you still have some padding.

6. Laziness
When it comes to snow, I really don't wanna do anything. Like going to class, going out, or just meeting anyone in general. I just wanna stay in and I am not a good person in. You can ask anyone who knows me, I'm a monster at home.

7. Stuck
Speaking of monster at home, what can be worse than not being able to drive anywhere because of the frozen roads. And transportation is not working. Considering that I am living in the area served by the shitty WMATA, yeah...

8. Binge eating
Which then will make me binge eat and my froyo and diet coke diet really isn't doable if I am stuck at home. There is no way my diet will consist of just diet coke. I will most probably eat the emergency chocolate I stashed for PMS days and hate myself for that. In conclusion? Snow makes you fat.

I really have a lot more negative points about the snow but I need to get out of this class and I know if I continue writing this later, I won't post it. Like always. So, sometimes Twitter is awesome.


Demi Moore and Cougarism
So here’s an excerpt from examiner.com just because if I am writing it, I’ll just be paraphrasing them and considering how much papers I have to paraphrase write a lot of papers for the next 2 weeks, I’d rather just copy paste...

"Reportedly, earlier this month, model Naomi Campbell hosted a huge birthday bash in India for her uber-rich billionaire beau, Vladimir Doronin.
Among the guests on the list was -- you guessed it -- DM.

Witnesses say that as the night went on, Demi Moore and her new boyfriend, 26, did a bit of dirty-dancing to songs performed live by Diana Ross.
"They were dancing and grinding all over each other, openly, in front of other guests," a spy said about Demi and Vito.
Schnabel is also rumored to have dated two other Hollywood cougars: Elle Macpherson and Live Tyler. So buzz about Demi Moore's new boy-toy is not totally out of left field.
Demi Moore's new boyfriend, while dapper, is not described as "tall." Unlike Kutcher, who stands at 6'2", Schnabel appears to be inches shorter."
And, here’s a picture of him…

UGLY, right? I mean compared to commoners he may be average looking but compare him to Ashton Kutcher? Yeah…

Here’s a picture of Ashton Kutcher. For comparison. Or just to ignite your hormone because, OH GOD HE IS SO HOT.

So a few years ago when I first got my twitter, I had my handle name as @nextmrskutcher while then Demi Moore was still @mrskutcher. She was tweeting something about few more hundred thousand followers to a certain number. I was in love with Ashton Kutcher then, so that automatically made me hate Demi Moore. I remember I was still using my old nokia phone and I was about to board bus number 132 in front of AMK Hub to go back to Orchard. I tweeted: “My ass, people follow her just to see how an old hag thinks.” And mentioned her.

Guess what?

In about an hour or two she retweeted and replied my tweet:

Like seriously? This is so hilarious/pathetic at the same time!

  1. I was still a freshman/sophomore in high school
  2. I am halfway across the world
  3. I never even met Ashton Kutcher for crying out loud!
  4. Seriously, is she really threatened by a girl almost a third of her age and live halfway across the globe’s tweet???

I knew that they were gonna break up soon. And I was right.

Seriously, even if Demi Moore is as young as Kutcher is, he is still tooooooooooo handsome for her! Right now that he’s with Mila Kunis, perfect.

After her separation with Kutcher, Demi Moore has been reported to flirt with many young male celebrities whose age can compete with her children and CAN BE her children. Like Zac Efron and other boys.

Doesn’t she feel gross when grinding that guy (as reported) knowing that when she had her first baby/first got married, that guy was just born?

Is this midlife crisis or is this just an epitome of patheticness?

Oh, make it worse, apparently Demi Moore is “delaying the divorce deliberately”. Really? Are you still hoping Kutcher will leave beautiful Mila Kunis and come back to you or what?


A Letter to Obama

Dear Mr. President,

First and foremost, congratulations on your re-election. The American people have decided to give you another chance, another four year. This four year, however, will determine the fate of the United States of America; the fate of this great nation is in your hand. So this time, are you ready to take this responsibility?

For the past four years, I have seen nothing but blaming the Bush regime. I acknowledge that he left you with a difficult situation of the country. However, with all due respect, ask yourself, is blaming others of what you should take responsibility for is a good trait of a leader? Let me remind you again, Sir, you are the leader of the greatest nation on the face of the earth, hence the leader of the world. Such position comes with a great responsibility and the blaming games is not an option.

Four more years in the oval office, Sir, it has proven how much Americans trust you, put their hopes in you. So when you enjoy the meal with your beautiful family tonight, please be reminded of the hungry mother who gave her bread to her children. When your wife bought that new Italian cashmere cardigan, please be reminded of the cold homeless in the streets of New York city. And when you give your daughters their allowance, remember the rest of America. This time, please take responsibility as a president, a leader, and an American.


A concerned alien

Homesick :(

I guess you never know what you have until you don’t have it anymore. I always knew it, but never actually appreciate what I have. What is with me and being appreciative? I always take things for granted...

Back in WA, I was so upset everyday. I could not wait until I move to the east coast. I hated the weather, I was mean to my friends and Russell, I was so bitter and was not happy with my life. But guess what? My friends there loved me. They stood by me through my toughest times (mostly PMS syndromes) and just back me up in everything. Russell, as much as I complained about him, he is my best cheerleader. Talking to him about my problems make the weight on my shoulders so much lighter. Why did I persist on moving to the east coast?

If I went to UW, I would be able to be in the same school with Megan, a really really good friend. Not being cocky, I know that I would get into UW; their political science department is not that excellent and I got into one of the toughest one in the nation (14th worldwide, WADDUP). If I did, I probably won’t be so miserable like right now.

I miss Rachel, the best room mate anyone can ever ask for, my "chilling group" Yuki, Maiko, Eric, James, Wook, Bella, Jeffry, Peter. I miss my other half, Russell. My indo family (like, you all!) :'(

I am homesick. Weirdly, the homesickness is not for Indo or Singapore but for Auburn... I guess it’s true home is where your heart is and my heart is with my friends.

I miss you guys so much :(


Indonesian Independence Scandal

Taking Southeast Asian studies class was probably the worst decision I have ever made this semester. I thought it would be an easy 4.0 class, it still may be. But it revealed something more important than a mere 4.0: the pride of my nation.

I can’t really say which country I am more inclined towards: the USA or Indonesia but then again Indonesia has always been a home to me. And although many Indonesians are just plain embarrassment, they are MY people. You know, I have a theory that race does not imply whether one would be socially acceptable or not, it depends on how high are you in the social caste. But that’s for another time, I’m gonna focus this post on Indonesia’s independence.

Well, apparently, according to my professor, an “expert” in Southeast Asia particularly Indonesia and Vietnam, Indonesia was given its independence, not fight for it till the end. I, like many other Indonesians or people who study in Indonesia for that matter, was taught that we fought for our independence till the end, and even the independence declaration itself was pretty much a struggle.

And then came this 60 year old guy that shattered my whole life. Okay that sounded pretty wrong. Well, he argues that Indonesian independence is given by the Japanese government, and for a split second, I did believe him. Okay, more than a split second. I was pretty bummed, actually. Thus, I skipped his class the next week; I was heartbroken. He was pretty convincing, saying that the education was pretty much clouded by propaganda and textbooks aren't always right.

Shame on me, I did not try to do more research until I’m actually writing this blog post. And apparently, to a certain extent, Indonesian independence was given by the Japanese. However, WE DID FIGHT FOR IT. Japan clearly did not want the US to get more “colonies” when they won the war, and Japan was in the brink of giving up. So it’s partly true, since the Japanese don’t care of the formation of PPKI, an organization that prepares the independence of Indonesia. But, the Japanese were reluctant in giving Indonesia her independence because we were one of the biggest natural resources providers for Japan. And if it’s not because of Soetan Sjahrir, an Indonesian hero, Indonesian independence will not be at when it is today (and my professor may be right then.)

If we didn’t want the independence, explain the kidnapping of Soekarno-Hatta. Sure, Soekarno was reluctant in declaring independence, but the young partisans were not. The independence of a nation does not rely on one man only, but the whole nation. That's what makes us Indonesia.

True, the drafting of the independence declaration text was done at the house of a Japanese military personnel. But it is also true that they were driven away from the original spot to declare independence, making them go to Soekarno's residence, NOT JAPANESE PROVIDED VENUE. Please, as stupid as we may be, can you actually fake some country's leader's address? Like telling the Americans that Obama does not live at the White House instead in Iowa??

And just because ONE Japanese is tolerant with Indonesian independence, that does not mean that Japan granted Indonesia her independence. We fought for it. And when the Dutch tried to take it from us again, we fought hence the Battle of Soerabaja. And many other battles that followed or preceded.

The biggest flaw in the argument made by my professor is the Proclamation text itself. Say that it was really given, isn't the transfer of power already done before hand? Instead of Soekarno proclaiming that it should be "executed by careful means and in the shortest possible time"? DUDE. I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW WTF. Can you actually fake the whole nation broadcast? Aren't there millions of Indonesians still alive and would vouch for this if asked?

We are a nation that fought for our freedom. It will remain that way. And nothing can take that from us. Not even if you have 5 freaking PhDs from the best universities in the world. 


Related: (but it's in Indonesian)
Indonesiaku Korupsi, a poem

Church people

Again I'm disappointed with Christians. I don't care what people think, for it is not them that will judge but God.

I am a Christian. I was technically born one. I grew up being used to a Sunday school and familiar with the words of God. I however did not remember being taught to be judgmental.

Didn't God say do not judge or you too will be judged? (Matthew 7:1)

And I do hate it when Christians force their belief on others who has not received God yet. Like There's an instance someone was sick and a prayer team was called to help pray for the sick. After the prayer, one of the prayers called the sick person's son and asked him to pray for his mom. Of course, as a son, he would but then he was LED by the prayer to pray accepting Jesus to his heart, without his consent. Hello?!?!? I thought accepting Jesus is a choice, not something you can force people to?

Again, I know about the great commandment (Matthew 28) but I don't think you're supposed to force people into accepting Jesus? You're supposed to "represent" Jesus in your daily habit and through that people will want to know what makes you that way and then you tell them about God. Not forcing!

I'm not the person to say anything about reflecting Jesus in my life. But I don't force people to accept God.

Also, I find it Very disturbing when Christians would condemn anyone to hell if they're not one of them. Pharisees much?

That is why I'd rather not flaunt my religion. But when asked, I'll never say I'm not a follower of Jesus.

This is my prayer in the desert...

From the day I heard this song, I know this is no ordinary song. Back then, I was still too young and naive to understand the lyrics but now it's a part of me.

This song is about going through the toughest time with God with an extra ordinary faith. It teaches me that when all else fails, He is still God and that's enough for me to give thanks.

Jesus talked about having a faith and I can't say I have an extra ordinary faith, but I have a darn strong one. Ever since I know Jesus personally, I rest assured my future in him. It's like I know what he prepares for me is something awesome (Jer 29:11). And no, he never says no to a prayer, Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you." That's why in my prayers I would boldly ask God for what I want. And I don't ask for ordinary things.

I have learned though, from Solomon, that I should ask God to guide my steps. From personal experience, I know that when bad thing happen, it is for something better and God will never make me fail. We can say that we are spoiled children of God.

The song however, reminds me that the seed I receive I will sow. Meaning that when I have overcome something in God, I shall not keep it to myself. I am filled to be emptied again so that I can be filled with something greater.

I believe that these years are the years of harvest, but then ahead, I will have to sow again. It's a repetitive process but with God it is never boring.


My family has been having a financial problem because of my school tuition. It's 24 grands per four months and no, neither I nor my dad is that loaded. My dad has all of his money in form of lands and now he is forced to sell some to finance my studies. God bless him.

I can wait for the sale, but my education can't. Tomorrow my payment is due (24 grands) and the check has not cleared. But praise God, he is the God who provides. My uncle, who rarely spoke to me but I know is fond of me because according to him I'm smart and can go places called up my dad and told him that he would transfer some money for my tuition this semester. Thank you, Lord! The check probably needs a few more days even a week to clear and by then I probably can't go to classes! I know that my God is the God who provides. Even little birds he feeds. Me? I am His daughter! The princess, and an heiress. I am so thankful that He provides and His timing is always right.

My heart is now filled with thanksgiving and praise. Thank you, God. Thank you. Thank you.

Never Fly United, Ever

My mom is visiting the United States to help me pack up my stuff and move to D.C. (Yes, I am going to school there!) So, she was here for about 3 weeks and during the time she was here, she wanted to go and visit San Francisco. So, being a good daughter, I helped her book a flight from Sea-Tac to SFO for 3 of us, my mom, Russ, and I. I usually fly business/first class but knowing that my mom is paying for my boyfriend, I feel bad so I tried to find the cheapest economy flight. Online, I found United 30 dollars cheaper than any other airline and they offered the perfect time.

The experience was dreadful. I'd rather pay 300 dollars more from my own pocket to fly another airline.

So our flight was at 6 am. We arrived at Sea-Tac at about 4.30 ish and got to the checking line at about 4.40 am. There was a LONG ASS line already. Looking at how long the line is, I went to the self check in right by the parking lot. The machine was on but I couldn't press on the United symbol. Clearly, United does not allow check in via machine.

Then, I went to the United self-check in machine. The person who was guarding it scolded me, saying that it's only for passengers with no luggage check in. WTF. Since when do you not allow a self check in machine for passengers with luggages? The long ass line is to get to a check in machine anyway! Pouting, I went to the back of the line. It was 4.50 already and I was pretty scared that I won't be able to get on the plane.

So there was a guy directing the lines and I came up to him telling him that I have a 6 am flight and if there's any way he can let me go to the front of the line because I don't want to miss my flight. His response? "Well, you should have come earlier. Everyone here is catching their flight too." WTF. I was 1.5 hours early, okay? And for domestic flight, you're only supposed to be 1 hour early. Fuck you, old grumpy guy.

We went into the line and waited for about half an hour. While in line, he kept telling us that the luggage check in for 6 am flight will be closed at 5 am. Since when they close luggage check in for domestic flight an hour early? Even Singapore Airlines still accept luggage check in 30 minutes before international flight from Singapore to US.

While in line, I saw that guy keep yelling at people, scolding them. I don't remember what he said to a family of 4 with two little kids but I remember it made my jaw drop and stared at that guy with hatefulness. It must be something terrible.

So after we checked in our luggages, we went through the usual security screening and stuff and found out that the flight was delayed till 6.53 am. Huh, why did we rush?? So, we went to eat at the food court and got back to the waiting lounge at 6.30 ish only to find out that the flight was further delayed till 7.50 am. Rah.

I got on the internet for a while but got exhausted since the night before I had very little sleep. I slept on Russell and after like 30 minutes or so, I was woken up because of the intercom guy saying that the flight is further delayed till 9 something. Reason? Waiting for the crews to get to the airport. What the hell. So late air crews = the whole flight waiting plus some other people who has connecting flight miss their flight while "late" passengers = getting scolded by stupid ol' guy? Way to go, United.

By about 8.30, we were told to board. In my head, whatever happen to people who go to eat, thinking that the flight will leave at 9 something? I was trying to board the plane when the boarding crew told my mom to check in russell's luggage, so we waited for a while. I got scolded by the air stewardess by waiting for my mom then by the boarding crew. RUDE RUDE RUDE.

When my mom was trying to put her luggage by the aircraft, she got scolded by the same air stewardess. I was already inside the plane and I was telling her to hurry because I don't want to walk in front of a stranger. You know what the stewardess tell me "Chill, why are you so nervous?" in a scolding tone. I AM NOT NERVOUS YOU MOTHERFUCKER I AM FUCKING FURIOUS.

Bottom line, their customer service is worse than crap.

I fell asleep throughout the entire flight, which I guess is a good thing for them because I am pretty sure that I will find more of their mistakes, convincing me to never ever ever in my whole life take United Airlines.